The Tallyroom: Howard Made History

The Poll That Counts No.2: Howard Made History

Inside the Canberra Tallyroom the excitement builds in the 2007 Australian Federal election. Maxine McKew, the ALP candidate, establishes a comfortable lead over John Howard, outgoing Prime Minister and Member for Bennelong.

We wait for Senator Penny Wong, ALP campaign spokesperson, to smile. What a poker face! It finally happens at 9.30 pm when Maxine appears on the TV coverage. National Barnaby Joyce, and Liberals Bill Heffernan and Joe Hockey clearly have dud hands all night. Humpty Dumpty Hockey gets hotter and hotter. Looks like he might explode as he he struggles in his own seat. Heffernan spars with the Chaser but more of that in the following episodes. Finally Howard appears, to make his concession speech, and the crowd hushes.

Footnote: Later Kerry O'Brien and Antony Green both complained about the crowd noise. Some of it was caused by the Chaser. Most was spontaneous outpourings of delight as the figures for Bennelong came on the screens or images of Maxine or Julia Gillard appeared. Unfortunately Julia was seated with her back to the public area so we missed her live facial expressions.

Think I was the only one watching the old tallyboards.

More to come: People in the tallyroom watch Howard's speech. Hefferan payback.

Original post at: Labor View from Broome

Shrek Returns to Swamp, Finds Donkey

Joe Hockey and Jackie Kelly discuss campaign strategery

As if being the poor goose that has to defend Workchoices isn’t enough of a burden, now Joe Hockey has to try and put out the fires of those political pyromaniacs of the Kelly Gang in his own seat – in 48 hours.

Shreks electorate of North Sydney is filled to the brim with people of a certain moral persuasion on social issues, their delicate Naw Shaw sensibilities being almost legendary…. Dahrling.

But out in the Bogansville of Lindsay, uber-Bogan Jackie Kelly and her bourbon swilling coterie of mental midgets thought it would be a really shit hot idea to start handing out fake ALP pamphlets depicting Labor being under the thumb of mufti-madness.

Gold. Read the rest at Possum's Pollytics.

Go see the interview with Kelly. Make sure to watch right to the end. Laurie Oakes tears her a new one.

Hockey schtick

Workers would be able to take double their annual leave at half pay and up to a year of unpaid parental leave under a re-elected Coalition government.


And grandparents will get leave rights for the first time.


Workplace Relations Minister Joe Hockey today talked up the government's workplace reforms as he released its workplace relations policy, aiming for full employment.


The launch came during a nationally-televised debate with his Labor opponent Julia Gillard.


"(It is) a policy that targets three per cent unemployment, a policy that locks in a stable workplace relations system to the next term of government so that business can get about employing more Australians."


Under the new policy, workers with the agreement of their employers will be able to take double their annual leave at half pay.


Parents will be able to take up to 52 weeks of unpaid parental leave.


The Age

I think I've got the government worked out now. See, what WorkChoices was really about was making workers grateful for the changes in legislation.

(Hockey) stick with me here.

Take away the awards that allow for unpaid parental leave or leave half-pay, then, when enough people have signed AWAs and just when it looks like you're up shit creek at election time, announce that you are going to allow them to have unpaid parental leave and leave half-pay!

That way, you look like you're giving them something, but you're actually just giving them back what they already had. And those people on the AWAs? Sorry, you'll have to wait until you next get together with your employer to negotiate your working conditions!

Employers don't lose out 'cause they've gotten what they want, the government doesn't lose out (and they hopefully win back the hearts and control of the minds of the people) because they've not really given anything away, and the people still lose out!

Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. You gotta hand it to them - it's genius.

Gillard Hockey Debate

This was on the radio so no one will report it I suspect.

Joe hockey: Redux of every government lie about Workchoices. Did you know you can better manage work and family when your employer forces you onto an AWA without awards and conditions? Me either. booga booga union bosses. Right balance, your interests are best served by being screwed.

Julia Gillard: Hockey's got a fear campaign. It's all lies. “Our fear campaign is based on fact.” comment. [pretty much everything except the punctuation in Hockey's statement was a lie- it was extraordinary]. Points out the government had no mandate for Workchoices and they spent a lot of money on advertising. Tells you everything you already know about Workchoices. 44% of AWAs remove all the award conditions supposed guaranteed by law. Mentions how women are worse off under Workcoices. Plan to extend it to essential services like allied health [my ass just clenched reflexively, that's my field!]. Blows economic 'arguments' for Workchoices out of the water. points out costs of compliance for business (who stupidly don't realise this). Labor's policy (Forward with Ponies and Cake) will be totally awesome. You know the drill. Selling out to big business while selling out to labor as opposed to just selling out to big business, it's an improvement. Says they'll keep right of entry for unions.

Sue Dunleavy Daily Torygraph: You'll be the first woman to run the country if Ruddy dies. How does this make you feel? Answer for your sex. Also both of you, women being paid less sucks, please explain.

Julia: Yay women! Only 25% of house of reps members are women. There should be more of them. Plays coy about being deputy PM. I'm concerned the gender gap has opened up so much. Retail and hospitality sector are really being screwed. Aussie women are $87 a week worse off.

Joe: I'm obviously not a woman. We've delivered more women in senior positions than any other govt. We are a modern party and govt. The gap has narrowed between men and women. It's womens' fault that they can't mine things and so get paid less.

Australian dude: Joe promises to resign if they make Workchoices worse. Will you promise to do the same if you don't roll back Workchoices?

Julia: Yes. [promises]

Joe: Peter Garrett said they'd change everything! He wasn't joking despite what the other witness to the conversation said!

Karen Middleton: Julia's stats, are they right or wrong? If they're wrong, why are you hiding your stats? Julia can you guarantee that all the people on AWAs will be better off under you?

Joe: [Lies. Same old lies. Dodges question]. Implies everyone is better off. Claims they've released data [truth being he's refused to release data- so make that another lie]. The data says that people who earn lots are better off under Workchoices, same as before. Hilariously resurrects trickle down theory. High earners will earn shitloads and you on your AWA will get some crumbs because it'll 'trickle down' to you, presumably while you're panhandling for change at the mall.

Julia: Joe hid all the data. Wouldn't tell us about actual wages. Why did he hide the data? Because it was crap that's why. [Was that a Rudd rhetorical question? Yes it was.] I can guarantee that our system won't work to disadvantage your working conditions in the same job.

Geoff Parry Channel Seven: Julia, Rudd is a me too leader, defend him!

Julia: Liberal leadership speculation. booga booga!

Joe: Me too Rudd! Tries l-plate Latham Rudd [R-Plate Rudd? Get him for speaking 'Asian' too!]. Who will they copy when we're gone? (I know Joe, I know. That's what we're hoping).

Mark Davis SMH: Unemployment. 3% unemployment is silly seeing as how we're pretty much at full employment. How will you guarantee inflation will stay low then?

Joe: We're after dole bludgers. Australia is running out of workers. Every last dole bludger should be working. Claims that a bricklayer straight out of apprenticeship is earning $75,000 a year in Rockhampton [ROCKHAMPTON! Looks like I wasted my time in uni] imagine if he lived in Launceston. Claims that interest rates will be low under the Libs again. [Muffled laughter as Joe charges the machine guns of reality armed with a spoon].

Julia: Failed promise on interest rates. Don't believe them. They lied about work participation. We're about skills and childcare. It's impossible for wages in rocky to affect wages in Launceston. We don't make irresponsible promises.

Steve Lewis, Govt. Gazette: South of your electorate a farmer is being rolled. Seeing as how the proportion of farmers in the population Is even smaller than that of union members, shouldn't you artificially inflate the number of farmers in your team? Also why don't you have any former models? Also is there anyone in the Labor party who ran a business?

Julia: Yes. I ran a business. Duh. Pre-selections are contests. Look at NSW Liberal contests. We have lots of diversity.

joe: We are diverse [laughter] Booga booga union bosses.

Ben Packham, Herald Sun: Joe and the PM say there won't be any more Workchoices changes. Yet you keep saying there will be. How can you guarantee workers won't be screwed. Labor will do a similar thing. How can you guarantee union bosses won't interfere in award setting?

Joe: I have no idea what I'm talking about so I'll use some buzzwords. Howard has given a commitment[!] That you won't be worse off! We want people to earn more money [except for when we say they're earning too much]. Trust us.

Julia: He's just blown a hole in his own argument. If I said I was going to consult the ACTU I'd hear booga booga union bossess. Joe just said that. We'll be hands off. It'll be an open and transparent process. Everyone can come to our party, not just big business.

Nick Butterly: Joe Mcdonald booga booga he'll be back.

Julia: I don't want to say anything about court proceedings. WTF do you mean, he'll be back? [he's a robotic union boss from the future, Julia!]

Joe: Booga booga union bosses. [wrote that before he spoke, wasn't disappointed]

Stephen Scott fin review: Wage pressure, should AWAs be used to crush wages? [yours firsStephen!]. Julia, some silly big business organisations have opposed your might. That was shortsighted. Do you wish to drive them before you and hear the lamentation of their women?

Joe: Yes we should screw wages over. Pulls out some dodgy stats debunked months ago.

Julia: Joe just shot himself in the foot again. The government is still hiding stats! We will let those big business guys who tried to fuck us back to the table. Sort of. We'll have a business advisory group [heh heh, clever].

Kate Hanen, Canberra Times: If Howard comes back will you get rid of the industrial relations commission? Julia will you put them in your Fair Work Australia.

Julia: We'll have some judge dude to run fair work Australia. We'll have an independent appointments system to fair work Australia. It'll even include the opposition [!].

Joe: You can't trust the Labor party booga booga union bosses.

summing up:

Joe: I'm gonna finish on a positive note! All my friends lost their jobs because of Paul Keating! when I was in a student union. Booga booga union bosses. Asks us to trade in work rights to have a job.

Julia: Holds up Howard's policy brief at the last election. They didn't take Workchoices to the last election. They've really screwed the pooch. On all levels, and they don't understand why people have turned against them. It's because they tried to ram through Workchoices. They'll try and ram it through again if they're reelected.

fin